Lighthearted Reviews

Talking Stick Casino and Resort: A Bachelor’s Review

"Jesus Christ. By the time we find a suitable parking spot, the booze will be gone and everybody will be…

LSD: A “Farewell 2017” Review

"Whew. The acid is starting to shift gears on me." I thought to myself as the floor started swirling together…

The Last Jedi: A “Big Middle Finger to Quality Cinema” Review

"I'll be right back. I need to ingest copious amounts of marijuana before I watch the best movie ever," I…

The Montauk Lounge in Old Town Scottsdale: A Drifter’s Review

“Why the hell are both of the liner pockets on the left side of this blazer?” I asked myself as…

Thanksgiving: A Short Review from the Harbinger of Apathy

"Ok, this is just unacceptable." I thought to myself as I woke up with drool all over my pillow. There…

Facebook: An Insecure Review

"What?!? Only seven likes in three hours?" I thought to myself as I feverishly closed the FB app and reopened…

Bottled Blonde in Old Town Scottsdale: Review From A Guy That Stands Still While He Dances

“Oh. Excuse me. I didn’t know I was in your way” I thought to myself as an attractive brunette slammed…

Anthony Michael Tellez: A Detached Review From A 32 Year Old Brain

"Jesus, he's doing it again" I said to my wrinkled self as he nervously fumbled his words in front of…

Whole Foods at Scottsdale and Mayo: A Fish Out of Water Review

"I hate crowds" I thought to myself as I entered through the exit doors in a subtle act of first…

Blade Runner 2049: A Ryan Gosling Man Crush Review

"Why the hell is the theater manager still standing at the entrance to the room?" I asked myself as I…

Four Peaks North Scottsdale: A Gin Soaked Love Letter

"Where the fuck is my car?" I was thinking to myself as I silently panicked in the back seat of…

Pita Jungle Desert Ridge: A Carnivore’s Review

"What the hell is with the parking lot being this full?" I asked myself as I finally found a spot…

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