LUNCHTIME MOVIE REVIEW #106
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Highlander Movie Summary
The year is 1986, and the immortal Connor MacLeod fights another immortal, Iman Fasil in New York City. MacLeod slices his head off…the only way you can kill an immortal, so I guess they aren’t as immortal as advertised…especially since there can only be one.
For some reason, cops show up, and MacLeod tries to flee. Also for some reason though, the cops are in full force, so the catch and arrest MacLeod…and you all thought that when you get caught between the moon and New York city the best that you can do is fall in love!
We flash back to the 16th century where MacLeod is a Scottish Highlander. He and his clansmen will soon go to war, but MacLeod will be okay if you’re worried.
We return to 1986 for some stereotypical cop douchebaggery before they release MacLeod, but Detective Brenda Wyatt, a metallurgy expert, recognizes Fasil’s sword as an extremely rare Toledo Salamanca broadsword. This peaks her interest.
We flash back again to the 16th century, and the MacLeod Clan battles the Fraser Clan. With the Frasers is the immortal Kurgan, and he fights with them so he can kill MacLeod as there can only be one. The Kurgan confronts MacLeod on the battlefield, and stabs him in the side…slightly missing his neck.
After the battle, MacLeod’s family takes him back to their castle where they give him his last rights. MacLeod makes a full recovery, and his people kick him out of their village for having the devil in him.
We return back to 1986 to learn MacLeod has assumed the identity of the mild-mannered Russell Nash, and lives as a wealthy antiquities dealer. The Kurgan is in the Big Apple too; hiding in a shit-hole motel. He finds MacLeod spying on Brenda, and attacks them outside a bar. As the two immortals fight to the death, the cops show up in a helicopter, and everyone runs away like cockroaches.
Brenda and MacLeod go on a date at her place, but MacLeod quickly leaves when he finds her hidden gun and a hidden tape recorder secretly recording them.
Time for another 16th century flashback where MacLeod lives with his wife, Heather. Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez, another immortal, suddenly shows up, and begins yodaing the shit out of MacLeod so the Kurgan won’t win The Prize; throwing the world into an eternal dark age.
One day while MacLeod is off picking lilies in the field, the Kurgan attacks and kills Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez because there can only be one. He then rapes Heather on the way out for good measure.
We are now back in 1986, and MacLeod meets his buddy and fellow immortal, Sunda Kastagir, in Central Park. There is no reason for this scene except to introduce Kastagir and to have another flashback…this one pointless, so I won’t talk about it.
Brenda has found a trail of MacLeod’s false identities, and comes to the logical conclusion that MacLeod can only be immortal, but is he the only one? To find out, she confronts MacLeod, and he plows her fields into submission that night. With this burgeoning romance, let’s have another flashback.
We flashback to the 16th century, and Heather is old, grey, and on her deathbed. MacLeod hasn’t aged at all. Heather dies, so we move back to 1986 where the Kurgan finds and kills the immortal Sunda Kastagir because there can only be one.
Now that there are only two, the Kurgan kidnaps Brenda to bring MacLeod to him. After an “epic” battle, MacLeod cuts off the Kurgan’s head…now there is only one. MacLeod receives the prize which is mortality and the ability to have kids…oh, and to hear people’s thoughts around the world. MacLeod promises to use his gift to encourage cooperation and peace in mankind. The way the world is going today, it sounds like this film is based on a true story.
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