Labyrinth Movie Summary
Out in a park, an owl sits on a branch; watching a virginal Jennifer Connelly butcher the lines of a dreadful play called Labyrinth. As she struggles to remember the last lines, the clock chimes seven. Sarah realizes she’s late to babysit her baby brother, Toby. She runs home in the rain, only to find her evil stepmother standing at the foot of the staircase; waiting to scold her.
Sarah pouts and storms upstairs. As if things couldn’t get worse, she realizes her favorite teddy bear, Lancelot, is missing. She immediately sets out on a quest to find it, but her journey only takes her to the next room where she finds Lancelot defenseless on the floor of Toby’s evil lair. Angered by this, our princess wishes the goblins would take her baby brother far away. Quicker than you can say ‘gay sex’, Toby vanishes, and the owl from the park flies into the room. It transforms into a very sexy goblin king named Jareth, played by the man’s man himself, David Bowie. Jareth tells Sarah she can have her brother back if she can solve his Labyrinth in 13 hours. He then flashes one of his glass balls at the girl which transports the two away.
At the Labyrinth’s entrance, Sarah befriends Hoggle, a Debbie Downer of a dwarf who refuses to help her. Their sexual tension is immediately palpable, so he opens the gate. Sarah sets out on her journey, alone. Like Alice in Wonderland, Sarah stumbles her way through this maddening world, but eventually ends up trapped in an oubliette. Jareth, for some unknown reason, sends Hoggle to free her, and take her back to the beginning of the maze. Sure, he could have waited for the 13-hour period to expire first, but that would make too much sense.Read the full summary
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