Lunchtime Movie Review

Clash of the Titans (1981)

Episode #104

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) released Clash of the Titans on June 12, 1981. Desmond Davis directed the film which starred Laurence Olivier, Harry Hamlin, and Claire Bloom.

Clash of the Titans Movie Summary

Acrisius, King of Argos, is pissed.  The oracle of Apollo told Acrisius that she had some good news and some bad news.  The good news was that Acrisius’s beautiful daughter Danae would soon give birth to a son.  The bad news was that this son would one day kill Acrisius.  So Acrisius, whose name loosely translates as Cockblock, locks his beautiful daughter in the top of a bronze tower so she would never come into contact with a man.

What King Cockblock failed to consider was that a bronze tower was no match for the horny God of the sky, Zeus.  One day Zeus flies to the bronze tower and descends upon the fair maiden Danae. He adorns her with a golden shower and knocks her up.  Danae gives birth to Perseus, the son of Zeus; the child destined to murder his grandfather.  Clash of the Titans begins with Acrisius condemning his daughter and grandson to certain death by locking them in a chest and throwing them out to sea.

When Zeus discovers Acrisius’s murderous deed, he is livid and demands swift justice.  Zeus orders his brother Poseidon, god of the sea, to save Danae and Perseus, and to punish Acrisius by unleashing a sea monster called the kraken.  The kraken wipes out Acrisius and all the inhabitants of Argos.  Meanwhile, the chest carrying Danae and Perseus lands safely ashore on the Aegean island of Seraphos.  Seraphos loosely translates as Isle of Naked MILFS.  Under Zeus’s watchful eye, Perseus grows up to be Harry Hamlin.

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Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) released Clash of the Titans on June 12, 1981. Desmond Davis directed the film which starred Laurence Olivier, Harry Hamlin, and Claire Bloom.

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