Mr. Nobody (2009)

Extremely beautiful… No story = Waste of time

Webster’s definition of a movie is: “a recording of moving images that tells a story and that people watch on a screen or television.”

Within that definition it states, “a recording of moving images…” This movie has those. Beautifully shot and meticulously lighted for maximum effect. Within that same definition it also states, “… that tells a story…” Here is what is missing from this “movie”. There is ZERO story. Just an endless jumble of fabulous images in no particular order with any coherence. It’s like having someone hand me a box of museum-quality photographs of some random old man’s life whom I’ve never met, then dumping the entire box on the floor and telling me “Isn’t this a fabulous story of the man’s life?” No structure. No meaning. No sense.

This is a gorgeous movie. I understand it cost over $40 million to create. You can see it all on the screen. That also is why I’m giving this “movie” a “2” instead of a much-deserved “1”. Just because you have limitless funds does not a movie make. Hint to the director: Start with a professional, INTERESTING screenplay before you break it into a thousand pieces and never put them back into any sort of order resembling a real story.

I think the director was absent the day they taught “Basic Storyline 101” at film school. Jumping back and forth in time to further the story is fine and done to wonderful effect with such classics as “Memento”, “Jacob’s Ladder”, “Run Lola Run”, etc. This mess of a film isn’t even close. If it was my $40 mill on the line, I’d be asking for somebody’s head after watching this garbage.

To be fair, I’m not the best “art house fare” reviewer. I like good storytelling and a fun movie experience. I don’t expect “Citizen Kane” at every sitting of course. However, I do understand story has a linear quality that was completely lacking in this film. The actors are beautiful. The sets are stunning. And it has Rhys Ifans. That’s enough to make me watch anything. But when that’s ALL in a movie, you’ll lose me pretty fast. The most troubling part is there is no end. The guy lives three(?) different lives because he didn’t make any choices, but then doesn’t finish any of them? What point is there to that “story”?

This is a waste of time. Stunning scenery, pretty cast. Zero point. Please find something else to do with the two+ hours of your life. Whoever gave it the high rating on IMDb needs to either learn what a real story is with plot, basic structure, and quality characters — or said viewers might want to cut back on the drugs and alcohol before glorifying trash like this. Shame on those reviewers. ‘Nuff said.

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