Our story begins in a post apocalyptic world of the future. The year is 2029, where large machines with tank tracks roll over human skulls. We learn that the machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate mankind had raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future, it would be fought here, in our present…tonight, in 1984.
The scene changes to Griffith Park, which is located in Kah-lee-fowniah (pronounced like California). A man picking up the garbage is overcome by an electrical dust devil, causing him to flee from his truck. Next, we see a very large and very naked man crouched in a track starting position. The man slowly rises, walks over to three punks messing around in the park and demands their clothing. Being punks, they pull out their knives and end up giving up their clothes the hard way. One guy has his heart torn out, the other gets beat down and one guy lives. This menacing power was no man; he was seven-time Mr. Olympia, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Meanwhile, in L.A.’s garment district, another man was being beamed to Earth. This man was much smaller, but equally naked. This mystery man quickly draws the attention of police after depants-ing some poor wino in an alley. The mystery man slips away and snags one of the cop’s shotguns as he flees. Both big man and little man head to the phone book to look up a woman named Sarah Conner.
Scene change. We see a young woman, who we later discover is one of many Sarah Connors, but this is THE Sarah Conner. She rides her Honda Elite 150 scooter, to her job at Big Jeff’s. Sarah is your all-American girl who is just trying to get by.
Change scene again. We see the big man decked out in his freshly stolen new wave gear he just murdered for. No 1984 outfit would be complete without studded leather gloves and shoulder chains. He punches out the window of a station wagon and jumpstarts that baby in less than 8 seconds. He is a wrecking machine, literally, a machine …
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